Hey, you. Yes, you. No, not that guy. You!

I have something to say. Are you ready to hear it? 

I don't mean mindlessly skim through these words on your phone while you're half-assed paying attention to your friend in the same room talking to you all about their ideas for the day. (If that's the case, put your damn phone down and be a better friend).

Oh...okay....you're ready? Cool.

Life has a funny way of turning itself inside out at the worst possible timing, doesn't it? Just when you think you've finally got everything under control, it says "hey! You're too comfortable!" and yanks the rug right under your feet so hard that you'll probably have that bruise on your ass for weeks, and then it slowly backs away with its hands up as if it doesn't know what just happened, leaving you there alone and broken.

The fact is, Life can be really hard. We all know that. There isn't a single person I know that hasn't experienced pain at some point in their timeline. Whether it be heart break from a loved one, physical abuse, or an emotionally traumatic experience, we have all been broken. (Stop isolating yourself).

It doesn't matter how you've been broken. What matters is how you put yourself back together. 

You know....if it weren't for the moon, you wouldn't be here today. Obviously, if it weren't for a lot of things, you wouldn't be breathing today, but there's a point to this...

Millions of years ago, before the moon was formed, Earth was a terrible place to imagine sustaining any kind of life. And then bam! A gigantic collision between the Earth and some other body at least the size of Mars happened out of nowhere, knocking Earth onto it's perfect tilt, and forming our little friend in the sky from the debris: the moon :) 

I don't want to make this a science lesson because I'm not credible enough, so I'll get to the point. The relationship between the moon and the Earth (along with maaaaany other things) has made it possible for life to have evolved on this planet. And look how beautiful it is: The lush green trees and majestic wildlife....the seemingly endless seas we have yet to fully discover....the flowing rivers and cascading waterfalls.....You. Me. Your morning tea and the sunbeams that gently kiss your cheeks. Your boyfriend or girlfriend sleeping next to you, drooling on the pillow. Your purring cat and playful dog. Your ability to wonder about the stars and ponder about who is looking at them at them simultaneously. 

It's all so breathtaking that words alone cheapen the actual experience. 

But my point is that something that seems so negative and horrible like that collision ended up creating the opportunity for life to flourish. Sometimes it's hard to see the evolution of something positive directly after tragedy, but it's necessary to hurt in order to understand true happiness. Stop blaming yourself and the rest of the world and start embracing that which is and needs to be.

When you find yourself on the ground in pieces, crying and hurt, muster up the strength to pull yourself to the window. Gaze up at the sky, take a nice long look at the moon and smile because you're special enough to be here. Look forward to the life that is soon to follow your collision. 

 

Girls....

Dear Girls,

We've all noticed how competitive the dating scene can be. It can be a cut throat game where we fight to be the last woman standing in a room full of suitors. Some women are quick to damage a fellow mate's reputation if they know they can win the bangers, beans, and mash in the end. 

But when have we stopped to take enough time and check exactly who and what we're fighting for? Have we gotten lost in the fight just for the simple fact of winning and lost sight of what we should actually be striving for in a man?

Ladies, here are my top ten personal characteristics that make up the kind of men we should be looking for....and number ten is the best:

1. He's most attracted to you when you don't wear makeup. In fact, when he met you, and you were dressed to impress, he was probably wondering what the clown face was for....and probably worried you may be a little more high maintenance than he usually prefers. So, the day he caught you off guard, and you had no time to spend in front of the mirror, was when he saw your natural beauty and can't get enough since then. Of course this comes in handy for you....you begin to feel better about yourself and realize you don't need help being beautiful. You have more time in your day to spend with your man outdoors (because that's what these type of men like to do) without worrying about your face sliding off, and hey, less zits and more money! 

2. Even after loving you most without makeup, this type of man still knows when to appreciate a beauty queen moment. Let's be honest here; even those of us that don't usually wear makeup like to choose a special night every once and a while to get dressed up and go out. Our make-up free man is still going to think you're drop dead gorgeous because he knows how much time you spent to make him look good with you hanging on his arm. 

3. He likes to spend time with you hanging around in your underwear, eating delivery, and playing video games. What?....oh.....you don't like playing video games? Okay, well then if you're that type, he likes to spend time with you hanging around in your underwear, eating delivery, and watching movies (hopefully good ones). My point is, he enjoys that quality, low-maintenance, one-on-one time....no matter what you guys decide to do. Chances are, if your man only wants to spend time with you in public and never alone, then he's got you as a trophy or he's just plain bored. 

4. When he does like to go out.....his idea of a good time is spent in the mountains, camping by a river, hiking through waterfalls. Or he wants to show you his favorite hiding places in the woods. He will teach you how to backpack, and after dating him you'll know how to start a proper fire. He's okay with sleeping on the floor in strange random places, and you'll never get bored because a new adventure is waiting around the corner.

5. He's a sponge. He's ready to learn anything he doesn't already know. He's open to learning your favorite passions....maybe yoga or how to paint. He wants to learn which books are your favorites and why because it opens a whole new world of discovery. Found a new band? He wants to hear it. 

6. He is open to new things, but he's not your puppet. Just because you like something, that doesn't mean he has to love it. The right kind of man will give your interests a chance, and he will be honest when it doesn't suit him, but he will allow you the space to continue your love for it on your own. And this should be expected of you in return as well. 

7. There is a lot of pressure on men to hold down the fort and take charge of everything, but that can be destructive behavior when it gets to the point that they can no longer do it alone, yet they're too scared to ask for help. The right kind of man can hold his own but he's not too prideful to ask for help from you or anyone else when necessary.

8. Going along with #7, the right kind of man isn't afraid to admit when he's wrong, and he will never hesitate to apologize when it's his fault...but he will stand his ground when he IS right and faultless. Ladies, this should also apply to you....

9. The right kind of man will respect you as an individual. He knows that you do not belong to him. He believes he is there to help you grow to be the best woman you can possibly be, and he can do that by allowing you space and freedom. He respects your friends when they are there to also help you grow, no matter the gender. He feels comfortable giving this space to you because he trusts you, and you deserve it. When there's an issue, he knows how to communicate like an adult and work things out because, like I said before, he has respect for you as an individual. 

10. The best kind of man doesn't require you to fight for him because he isn't interested in petty girl talk and competition. He noticed you in the crowded room because he saw that flicker of appreciation of feminine beauty in your eye. You didn't cut down your fellow women in sight but rather acknowledged them for their individual beauty and admired it. That alone removed you from the "fight". You refused to compete in a losing battle because you love yourself no matter what, and the right kind of man saw that, and he chose you. 

Now, ladies, I understand we all have different tastes in men. And maybe this post was geared more toward my type of guy. But what it boils down to is respect, freedom, and compassion. If he doesn't have that, he has nothing, and he can offer you nothing but a good time for an incredibly short while. 

Stop fighting each other just to settle for someone you won't actually love to begin with. Stop fighting and the right man will find you.