Long-Distance Tag

A video stream of memory

that I don't have a place in.

Your faces- pixilated

Voices- no bass and

it's the closest thing I have 

to remind me of a time when

I knew what it felt like 

to belong with you.

 

Dog Town

The sun goes to sleep faster than you anticipated.

Every few footsteps you look over your shoulder 

and with each stride you know you're getting closer

to the place you can't call home but it might as well be.

You're in dog town tonight

And it's obvious that there's something about the light

that keeps them off the street

And there's something about the night 

that lets them breathe

Easier. Safer. More freely.

Maybe if you crawl on all fours you can blend in with them.

Everywhere you look, a test of dominance and strength.

Ticks and flea bites have no effect on social status

Because who the hell cares when they have the same struggles?

The moon lights your way but are you sure it's safe to follow?

After all, can it peer into the break of dawn of tomorrow?

Can it promise that your eyes will watch the sunrise? 

No, it sure can't. But hey, it's all you've really got. 

Wisdom In Silence

For the first time in 5 months I've had a significant amount of alone time. I've been dog watching for another Peace Corps Volunteer while he travels. I've taken advantage of the Internet for communication with friends and family back home, the empty space for whatever yoga I feel like doing, and the opportunity to run around half naked dancing to Spotify radio stations. But most importantly I've taken a lot of time to reflect on myself, my habits, and where my life is going based on my decisions that I make. 

My intense self reflection began years ago, however it's normal to slip in and out of this practice when trials and tribulations present themselves in our lives. The past year and a half has been an incredibly productive time for me as far as spiritual growth and self-awareness is concerned. And once I got to Namibia I knew that it would only deepen. Over the past five months I have come to a lot of realizations about why I do some of the things I do. I've become more aware of "flaws" that I need to pay extra attention to. And this past week spending time alone has been good for me. There are a few changes in my life that I would like to focus on, and I think putting them in writing for the world to see makes it, I don't know, more real....?

1. More clarity. My mind is at ease most of the time. I've gotten good at accepting the flow of life, the ups and downs. Just because something "bad" happens in life it doesn't necessarily have to be perceived as bad. Everything in this world is only considered good or bad because the way we perceive it as so. But the fact is, everything that happens in this world just is. So let it be. Learn from what you can and spread the love. While I've had this peace of mind for a couple years now, I want to focus more on radiating this clarity to help others calm down. In order to achieve this, I need to build what I already have and make it stronger. I can do this through more meditation practices and more yoga involvement. We can never have too much clarity, and I want to keep raising the bar. Not to mention it'll help a lot with music writing and art creating. 

2. Routine. In order for me to achieve #1 I need to develop a better routine. Living in Namibia while serving for the Peace Corps makes it difficult to stick to a set routine. But it's possible...especially once I go back to the village and actually start teaching in January. In the village I do yoga every Monday through Thursday at 5pm in the sand underneath two beautiful trees. But just because I come to town on the weekends, that doesn't give me a good reason to slack on my meditation and yoga just because I want to go out and drink and dance. 

3. Less alcohol. With what I said in #2, I have weighed my options, and I've come to the conclusion that I feel healthier, stronger, and more like a good influence when I refrain from drinking too much. I would love to have a great relationship with alcohol...unfortunately, after a night of drinking, it's really difficult to find the energy to do yoga or even the mental stability to properly meditate. I'm not saying I'm never going to touch a drop of alcohol again....I'm just going to limit the use significantly. Instead of drinking to get drunk with friends, I'll have a drink or two and call it a night. My body is tired of staying up until late hours of the night just so I can keep drinking, make bad decisions, and feel sick the next day. I know I'm young and it's part of being young and having fun (and trust me, I have a lot of fun)....but I can have fun without completely obliterating my mind so often. It's all about balance......I'll reserve the obliteration times for celebrations ;) 

4. More time spent outside. I'm already an outdoorsy kinda gal. But this African heat sure does make the word "outside" radiate a sort of intimidation factor. It's easier to stay cooped up inside (whether it be my hut in the village or a house with open doors and windows in town) than it is to face the sun. Since I was so used to being outside back home, this has affected my mood significantly. So. What I need to do is take advantage of the cooler parts of the day and spend time outside then so that I don't feel so guilty and trapped when I'm inside during the hottest parts of the day. This will require waking up earlier. I have a feeling I'm about to turn into the person that has to enjoy a nice cup of tea while watching the sunrise in order to properly begin my day. I'm alright with that. 

5. Get back to a healthy diet. I miss being a vegetarian. But the truth it, it's difficult to support a healthy vegetarian lifestyle in this place. I know that's me taking the easy way out, but I deserve that much after giving up everything I've ever known for such a long commitment. Eating is a social thing here, so people cook for each other and share, and while I don't prepare meat during the week in the village, my friends in town always include meat in their meals when I'm in Katima on the weekends. The sun is intense and so you find yourself craving more carbs than you need also....But I need to get back to a healthier diet....I'm not sure exactly how yet...but I'll figure that out. And dammit, Simba chips have MSG along with, like, everything else here....so I gotta stop eating that stuff and find alternatives.

For the most part I already lead a clear life. I spend my time productively with reading, creating, socializing with the locals, and just enjoying the present moment. So I know everything I've listed above is going to happen. When I set my mind to something, I don't give up so easily. Even Vince mentioned how I was always like "Hey imma go to Africa!" but nobody ever quite believed it was actually going to happen...and then, well, now I'm here. 

We as human beings are flawed, and even when we strive toward a lifestyle full of light, we still occasionally fall. We are constantly learning. I have a desire to keep climbing the enlightenment ladder and I'm not going to stop. I may get hung up here and there, but I won't fall backwards. 

Here are some perdy pictures from my first few weeks of December :) we sure could learn a lot of nature and its magnificence.....

Summertime Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and I wish I had a pair of shorts. Too bad it's not socially acceptable to stroll around in underwear....

I'm far away from my family this holiday, so it doesn't feel like Christmas at all. I guess that makes it easier to be away. 

What an interesting month it has been...it's difficult to find a place to start and to figure out what's worth reading about. So I'll just tell you like this:

Reconnect training was awesome seeing the rest of group 38 for a week. We were spoiled by the Peace Corps up in the mountains near the capital. We played drinking games, watched movies, did yoga, hiked, oh and we did some work too....

After that about 30 of us ventured to Swakopmund on the west coast. It was wonderful spending time next to the ocean. Here we...well...drank some more, had a clothes swapping dance party, almost faught a group of Afrikaans speaking white guys (but we're in the Peace Corps so we chose the high road out and stayed peaceful....even after waking up to the pig's head outside our front door....) jammed out on the guitar with a cool dreaded lesbian chick on the beach, met a cute guy in a music store that I'll probably never see again, filled my belly with Italian, Mexican, and sea food, and basically just relaxed.

After that I spent time in Okahandja with a handful of Volunteers and kicked it at the Reit Klub. The owner built a bonfire and I played my guitar for everyone. I got lost in the flames and remembered what it felt like for the first time in a long time to really feel the music I've written. I met beautiful new souls, especially one in particular that needed a little reminder of what's worth living for in life...not that he didn't already know, he just needed a stranger to come pass through his life briefly at the right time. The next day I found myself sitting on the bar playing my music for about 8 old white German/Afrikaans speaking men, and afterwards enjoyed my time with a beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other (sorry, mom, I like to smoke when I drink and I didn't have any cloves) while we all listened to the blues. It was one of those moments that reminded me how random my life is. 

I spent the rest of the weekend with my old host family. We drank some more (wow, I'm beginning to think I shouldn't write about that so often...) and then I hiked my way back up north to my second home, Zambezi region. That was an adventure that consisted of two days, a truck driver that mumbled to himself the whole time, and a lot of baking in the sunshine. But I made it. ;)

And, man, was I ready to be home. 

Namibia is a beautiful place with great people, but I'm partial to the northern regions, particularly Zambezi. I've made great friends here and there isn't as much racism as there is in the south. I experienced a lot of that for the first time during my vacation....and I kept my mouth shut for the most part because I know what this country has gone through, and I understand some wounds are still fresh. 

But just because I chose when or when not to speak, that doesn't mean I don't represent equality. It's important to choose which people are willing to hear your words, otherwise it's like talking to a brick wall, and it's not my place to impose my beliefs on an old man that faught in war. Change starts in the younger generations, and I'm sure as hell not afraid to state my opinion with those closer to my age. 

I don't want to go too deep into the racial issue in this blog because honestly I don't feel like killing my own vibe on Christmas Eve (now technically Christmas morning). Maybe later down the road I'll go into more depth on this subject matter. 

For now, I'll continue enjoying this Amarula liqueur and talking to friends on Facebook because I actually have decent access to Internet this whole week :) 

The neighbors next to my friend's house are partying hard outside. It's Christmas after all :) ...I may go join them...I'm sure that'll just add another chapter to this story book of mine...*cheers* 

If you'd like to see my pictures from my few vacation weeks, follow me on Instagram @Saramanarasauce 

Facebook Statuses Continued

Here are some more Facebook worthy status updates that I've thought randomly throughout my stay but didn't have Internet access to actually post them:

1. Listening to Nick Drake while watching the sand fight for every last drop of water falling from the sky. 

2. Dancing with village kids to Wake Up by Arcade Fire. Life is seriously nothing less than perfect because of moments like these. 

3. I have come to the conclusion that if my friend Stephanie Farmer (formerly Williams) was transformed into tiny words and put on paper she would be the story Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

4. Something I hear girls talk about all the time here that I can't relate to: how much their hair costs. 

5. A man in the kitchen is just as sexy on the African continent as it is on the North American continent.  

6. How many pop songs exist with the words "hands in the air like you don't care" or other variations of it? And am I the only person that's annoyed by this? 

7. I'm now used to killing bugs in my underwear. Not bugs inside my underwear, but me wearing my underwear and killing bugs...because they all come out at night at the same time, and it's like a war zone. 

8. Okay, so this mouse eats my soap...and then an animal eats my soap through the bag that I left outside. I'm about to give this soap a try to see what all the fuss is about...

9. Watching a man try to catch a runaway goat in the middle of town never gets old. 

10. Too...much....time...without...a...guitar. I'm dying.

11. Four months and I STILL try to get in on the wrong side of the car occasionally. 

12. Who wouldn't want to live in a place where mango trees grow everywhere? 

13. It feels weird when I hear Namibians listening to country music...and it feels even weirder that for some reason I like it better now than I did in the states. Same goes for pop music. What's happening to me?! 

14. What's that sound? ...oh, it's a hippo?....of course....

15. I think I like the safety of a mosquito net so much that I'll have to buy one when I get back to the states, otherwise I'll feel too vulnerable.

Kamama or Not Kamama

28 November, 2013

If you're reading this but haven't read my last entry "They Say Dogs Are a Man's Best Friend", then go back and read it first otherwise this entry will just waste your time with confusion.

I tossed and turned all night wondering if Kamama (little mama) decided to run away or not. I knew that wherever she was she wasn't sleeping well, and I felt guilty for not having found her when my friend and I went to look in the afternoon....maybe I didn't search hard enough...maybe I didn't call her name loud enough. But I meditated on finding her, and I knew I would see her in the morning.

My principal picked me up around 6:30, and after about 20 minutes we pulled onto Gunkwe Primary School grounds. 

I looked frantically out the windows but Kamama was nowhere to be found. My heart sank. All of my effort to help show her that she can trust some people flushed down the drain. I blamed myself because if I had just went to the vet a day sooner she would be here....

Then all of a sudden I hear whimpering from outside the car. I flung the door open, jumped outside, yelled, "Kamama!" and she came running around the vehicle (as fast as she could with a limp) and crashed into my legs, crying and wagging her tail. Even my principal let out a sound of relief and smiled at me as I ruffled her ears and fur on her head. She was so excited to see me that when I began to walk to my hut she kept leaning into me making me trip over her and myself. 

I got inside and poured a bowl of dog food and put her pain pill and antibiotic in with it. She looked at the bowl and then looked back at me with a confused face. I realized this dog has never seen proper dog food before. She slowly picked up a kibble, dropped it on the floor, smelled it, and then ate it. She repeated this step once more and then ravaged the entire bowl with gusto, pills and all. While she was occupied, I thought I could try cleaning her wound, but when I got close to the burn she began to growl...I didn't want to push my luck. When she was finished with her food I poured her a bowl of water. This was the first time she ever accepted water from me. I'm guessing she was in too much pain to find a place with water for herself, so she was very thirsty. 

Satisfied, she limped over to me and laid her head in my lap. I pet her and talked to her for the next thirty minutes and then the pain pill started to kick in. She wobbled back and forth and tried to fight sleep, but she finally collapsed and passed out....for 3 and a half hours straight. 

I can't explain how happy I was to see her feel safe enough to finally give into such a pleasant slumber. Nobody could bother her as long as she was in my hut and out of the hot sun. 

When she awoke, I managed to get her outside so I could lock up and head back to Katima. She was able to walk with more ease and her energy felt lighter. She followed me until she knew I had to get in the car. 

The best feeling though....was when the same people that had laughed at me yesterday for caring too much asked me how Kamama was doing. Whether they genuinely cared or not, at some point they must have realized that I was hurt by what had happened, and I know they care about how I feel because these are the same people that have gone to great lengths to make sure my entry into this region went comfortably and smoothly. They're my family. Even though we come from two different countries, we share the same world. And I know that while we have our differences, when it comes down to it we would all be there for each other. 

Tomorrow I will continue giving Kamama her pills, and the senior teacher will take over Saturday since I have to go to Windhoek (10 hours away) for reconnect training for a week. After that I will be spending a week on the west coast at Swakopmund (beach time, bitcheeees!) and then a few days in Okahandja with the family that welcomed me into their home upon arrival to Namibia in July. But at least I can travel knowing that Kamama is only going to get better, and I know when I return home, she'll be just as happy to see me as I will be to see her. 

Oh, usually I have sheets on my bed, but my roommate, Protex (the mouse), pooped all over my bed while I was gone over the weekend....so I have to wash everything. Yes, I'm working on kicking him out. He doesn't even pay rent anyway...

They Say Dogs Are a Man's Best Friend...

I have to choose my words wisely in this entry so as not to offend anyone, but how does one that has been offended rant without offending others? Who knows...but I'll give it a shot. 

I come from a culture where animal cruelty is faught against. For the most part people treat their pets like family. There are even animal rights activist groups constantly pushing to reform the way animals are treated in our country. We still have issues with animal abuse (no country is perfect) but as a well-developed society we have come a long way with improvement of the human-animal relationship. 

Coming to Namibia I experienced a culture shock when I saw the way animals, mostly dogs, are treated. Before I continue, I am not saying that ALL namibians behave this way. I am just writing about a personal experience of mine. And before I share my story I will explain a little bit of background info about dogs in relation to Namibia. There are a lot of stray dogs running around because a lot of people that do own dogs (for protection purposes, not usually for friendship) don't spay or neuter them. The dogs here are a lot more wild and can be dangerous if carrying diseases like rabies. Because of this, a lot of people want to keep their distance. In order to keep that distance, some people will beat the dogs by throwing rocks, or hitting them with sticks. One thing you'll rarely see is a happy stray dog approaching a human because dogs here know they're not welcome. 

In the village there is a dog that we call Kamama. She's a beautiful gray dog, maybe 1 and half years old. I have posted a picture before of my hut, and she's the one standing in the doorway. I like this dog because at night she likes to sleep between my hut and Teclar's (the senior teacher at my school) as if she's protecting us. She growls and barks at people when they pass too closely to our homes at night. Kamama has chosen us to protect because we're the only ones that don't beat her when she comes around, and we're the only ones that feed her. She trusts us. 

I was gone from the village over the weekend, and stayed in Katima as usual. When I went to the school, Kamama did her usual greeting for me when I got out of my principal's truck: she came running from across the way and ran into the side of my leg whimpering with excitement. As I was petting her I noticed she was limping. I checked on her side and there was a giant wound of about a foot long and maybe 4 inches tall. It looked liked she had been burned, and it was very deep and fresh. 

I immediately asked a colleague what happened. I was shocked when I heard the words coming out of her mouth.

Apparently, Kamama got too close to someone that doesn't like her (I won't say names) and this person threw a pot of boiling water on her. Her fur and entire first layer of skin is completely burnt away, and I'm not a doctor but it looks like it went even deeper on certain spots. I just couldn't wrap my mind around how someone could do this to a dog that was doing absolutely nothing wrong to her. 

I immediately sent a text to the senior teacher who is absent from school this week to inform her of the incident. She was heart broken. I kept my mouth shut in the staff room.

The next day (today) I came to the school (this whole week I've been sleeping in Katima because none of the teachers are staying at the village due to this week being closing week). I got out of the car and expected Kamama to come running with excitement...but instead she hobbled over to me with her head low, and just leaned into my side to say hi. I looked at her side and it didn't look any better, in fact some spots were turning green. I went to the school and she limped away.

When I came to my hut to use the bathroom around noon, I found her hiding behind my house. She immediately came to me and followed me inside. I sat on the chair and she layed her head on my lap, softly whimpering. She felt feverish, her nose was dry, and she didn't want to move. I couldn't just leave her like this. 

So I got my camera and took pictures of her and her burn. I let her stay inside while I went to the school to ask my friend Dallaz if he would drop me off at a vet clinic (if there even is one) after school. 

Everyone laughed at me. 

I understand if someone doesn't like dogs. Not my business. But when I get laughed at for having compassion for a living being, it hurts...not because I'm embarrassed...but because it hurts to know there are people in this world that don't see life as a miracle in every breathing creature on this planet. 

I quietly grabbed my things, and Dallaz dropped me off at the Ministry of Environment and Tourism, where I found a nice doctor who usually works with large animals. I showed him the pictures and explained the situation. He could see how upset I was and sympathized with me. He gave me a week's worth of pain pills and antibiotics...for free. He even drove me to the pharmacy in town and told me what to buy to clean the burn. After that I went and got her some dog food, and another friend of mine drove me to Gunkwe to help care for her. 

Unfortunately, when we got there, Kamama was nowhere to be found. We walked everywhere calling her name and speaking to villagers to see if they had seen her. I know she was gone because she knew I wouldn't be back til the morning. After a while of searching we decided to head back to Katima. 

As of now, I don't know the status of Kamama because the last few paragraphs happened today ( 27 November). Hopefully she'll find me at the school tomorrow morning, and I'll have another blog entry to  upload after this one letting you know how she's doing. 

It takes a lot of work sometimes to settle in with a culture different from your own. And this is one of my  struggles. In order to comfortably live in a different world though you must look at what lies underneath the surface. Having done so, I understand that in a new developing society the least of peoples' concerns is the treatment of animals because they have bigger issues to deal with. Life of a person comes first, and animals just haven't been allowed in the equation just yet. I don't hate people for that because I grew up in a different culture so I couldn't possibly understand. My culture has allowed us to have time to spend understanding the role of animals in our world. I'm just hoping that after my two year service maybe, just maybe, at least one person who hated animals before might just be inspired to change their behavior towards them after seeing the great lengths I'm willing to go through to protect them. I've met quite a few people here also who own dogs and cats and treat them very well, so once again, I'm not saying everyone in this country acts this way. 

I'm not saying we should all become crazy animal lovers, spending all our money to make them live longer...they're doing just fine surviving on their own...I'm just saying show a little love. It's not hard. It takes more energy to beat a dog than to show it a little compassion. If you don't want it near you, chances are it didn't want to be there either and will leave if you tell it to.

And please don't waste your time asking me "Well what about the malnutrition and abuse of children?" Because I'm in no way undermining those serious issues. I'm just bringing up another one that people should also consider. 

I promised her I'd be back tomorrow to help her, and I told her to hold on. When she looked at me as I spoke, something inside me knew that she somehow understood...

Correction and New Housing Situation

13 November, 2013

Okay so forget about part of the last blog entry. Here's what I'll actually be doing starting January: I'll be teaching English to grades 5 and 6, which is actually 14 periods a week (not 10 like I had originally thought), and I'll also be taking on Arts for 5,6, and 7. That's an extra 6 periods a week, leaving me with a total of 20. 

I voluntarily asked for Arts because...well...because nobody else wants it. It'll be challenging because we have limited resources...very limited resources. But I'll make it work. 

Onto another topic...

I have a new roommate. His name is Protex. 

Because he eats my Protex soap. 

I have yet to confront him about this issue because he's very shy and doesn't like to be seen. See, over the weekend while I was in Katima, he cleaned all the bugs off the floor that I had yet to sweep up. I think that was his way of apologizing ahead of time for eating a hole through my backpack and feasting on the corner of my soap. 

I have mixed emotions about this situation. I respect him cleaning up the floor....but then he decided to poop on my dishes. That is absolutely unacceptable. I don't think he'd be very happy if I returned the favor on something of his. Not to mention he's so noisy. At night all I hear is *squeak squeak squeak* and his little claws scratching at things. 

I don't want to resort to murder...I'm in the "Peace" Corps after all...but I may have to kick him out soon...at least before he invites a girlfriend to move in, and then next thing you know I'll have to share my one room hut with an entire family....an entire family that eats soap and poops on my dishes. 

Nope. 

Downtime

5 November, 2013

I can't believe it's already the beginning of November! By the time I upload this, the first week of November will have passed. In one month all of Group 38 volunteers will be sent to the capital, Windhoek, and reunited for a week of training. We have been apart from each other since the end of September, so I'm eager to hug their necks and hear about their own unique adventures so far. That's something I like about the Peace Corps...the fact that they separate us into our own individual sites, creating the most unique experience we could possibly have. I met a few Romanian volunteers for a private school at a teaching workshop a few weeks ago. They're used to living together in one area near Kongola, so when they heard I'm on on my own, they were shocked. They've been here for years but don't integrate into the community much because they're used to having each other as company. Our experiences are completely opposite. I have no other choice but to integrate, otherwise I'd be depressingly lonely...and those of you that know me know that I have to be surrounded by friends constantly. So I'm happy to say that I've made so many good friends since I've moved to Gunkwe, and my language learning is coming along nicely. 

During these first couple months we were supposed to focus on getting to know the community and also on figuring out what we will be doing come January. I have spoken with my principal and colleagues about what they would like from me and what I would like to offer. It has been agreed upon that I will be teaching English to grades 5 and 6. The Peace Corps stressed to us not to teach 5th grade English our 1st year..but my colleagues have a good point: they want me to have grade 5 again for grade 6 to hopefully provide a strong foundation of English for the next teacher to carry on in grade 7. That would give me two years with one group of students, and we will hopefully see an improvement. Also, I'm confident enough in the local language that if necessary I can use broken Silozi to help get an idea across. I spend a lot of time playing with some of the village kids and we communicate in both languages. 

Doing the math, that's only 10 periods a week. Which is not a lot at all. So I will be spending most of my time of service on secondary projects. We have all agreed that setting up a library is the first priority (after teaching of course). We have to figure out how to get the community to build us a space for a library to even exist. My father is setting up a book donation drive at his workplace and will be sending children's books to my school. If you're interested in being a part of this donation, then send me an email or Facebook message and I will give you his contact information. 

As for another secondary project, the teachers have requested that I teach them how to use a computer efficiently. So on Mondays or Wednesdays, starting in January, I will be teaching them as much as I possibly can about computers. Hopefully, we will have Internet by then. That will open up a lot of doors for us. 

Outside of the school, I really want to organize an HIV/AIDS awareness group in the community that can not only educate adults, but also help them learn how to talk to their kids about it. I found a great source shoved away in the school staff room with information on how to help parents communicate with their kids on such an awkward subject. Before I do this though I will need to find a counterpart in the village who is willing to work alongside me...that's going to take time. 

Anyway...everything listed above is just an outline of the goals I have for the rest of my service starting in January. Some things may be successful, while others may completely flop. But it's always worth a shot. My mind is at ease and I've remained peaceful since my journey has started, and I know that the tiniest impression can make lifelong changes, so even if something doesn't work out as planned, I know that somewhere I've made a difference. I can already see a change now in some of the people around me. For example, every single Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, my colleague and neighbor does yoga and other exercises with me. She's determined to engage in a healthier lifestyle, and that's a big deal here considering fitness isn't common in this country. I know that after two years of this she will stick with it and probably teach others when I'm gone. It's the little things like that worth working for. 

I've already posted some of these pictures on Facebook and on Instagram, but I'll throw a few in here for blog purposes. 

This was at Bezi Bar. We were celebrating my friend, Memory's, birthday. Ryan brought an American football and was trying to teach some of the guys how to throw it. The guy holding the ball is Kenneth, Prince's brother...Prince is Patrick's counterpart in the village Muyako. Since Katima is our shopping town, a few of us see each other every weekend. Oh yea, and later that night, I ended up going swimming in the pool in my clothes because "my song" came on...a Zambian song called Are You Single?...actually I don't even know if that's the title, but they say it over and over in the chorus lol. 

Some of the friends I've made in Katima.

Here are the village kids I play with a lot after school. They actually belong to a few of my colleagues, so they mostly leave the village on the weekends to stay in town in Katima. Dad, I took this picture and the one below for you to use on your book drive donation flier. The above one they're smiling, but the quality isn't as bright...below they look like angry kids because the sun was in their eyes. Oh, and to clear up a stereotype we have in the USA about African kids really fast...yes, you see a lot of pictures of African kids without shoes...but that doesn't mean they don't have shoes...they just choose not to wear them most of the time :)

Anyway, my next entry will probably be another random Facebook statusworthy post...because I've had a lot of those moments in my life since I wrote the latest one, and it probably isn't going to slow down. 

I'm going to bed. Nikalobala hande ni lukabonana. (I will sleep well and we'll be seeing each other).

Hashtags and Facebook Statuses

As you all know, I only have access to the Internet about once a week, and it's usually only for a couple hours...and during that time I'm camping at a restaurant stuffing my face and talking to other people. I haven't had daily Internet access since the end of July, but something is programmed in me to still think of things in my everyday life as Facebook status worthy after they happen. And thanks to sites like Instagram hash tags come into play as well to categorize these certain moments. Since I don't have the opportunity to update these things on a whim anymore, I've made a compilation of status worthy incidences since I've been in Africa. These are things that I have actually thought and chosen to remember for the sake of one day sharing with friends. Some of these things will only be fully understood by other Peace Corps-Namibia volunteers, but you may get a kick out of it regardless. 

1. That feeling when you watch an American film or show and see the driver of a car sitting in the left side of the vehicle, and you think it looks funny...#peacecorps #group38 #namibia

2.  That feeling when you get your mosquito net tucked in around your mattress perfectly, get all cozy and start to doze off...and then *buzzzzz*...you realize you trapped a mosquito in with you...#peacecorps #group38 #africanproblems

3. That moment when something scurries across your floor so fast that it's blurry and you have no idea where it went, so the ground suddenly becomes hot lava and the goal of the game is to stay on the bed. #villagelife #hutlife (this status-worthy moment literally just happened to me as I was finishing typing #2)

4. The village rooster thinks it's necessary to sound the alarm at 4 in the morning. Who wants rooster for dinner?

5.That moment in the morning when you're getting ready, you go to get something from a bag (backpack, suitcase, make-up bag, etc.) and you're reluctant to reach inside because you realized you left it unzipped over night... #hutlife

6. Simple rule: Always toss your shoes and shake out your clothes before putting them on. 

7. The one time it rains in the entire continent of Africa, and I just hung up the last piece of laundry to dry...-_-

8. That feeling when you hear something rustling around outside and you know that it has to be a lion....even though they're so uncommon that most namibians haven't even seen one...#americaninafrica #stereotypes

9. "What the hell was that...?" is one of the most used phrases since I've been here. 

10. That moment when something really funny happens, so you go to text or call a particular friend, and you remember they're all the way across the ocean....:/ 

Those are just a few examples of things I would have posted immediately on Facebook. Ill post more soon, I'm sure, considering every day something happens that's totally Facebook worthy.

Real-Talk Time #4

10 October, 2013

The cultural differences are really starting to show now that I'm living in the village. I consider this one Real-Talk worthy because I want to share these differences with you and also share how I feel about everything. 

1. When nature calls...I have come up with a theory that Namibians are super humans that never have to go to the bathroom. At least I've never seen it since I've been in the village. I think a more reasonable excuse for this would be that they go in the bush. All the power to them, but my white skin doesn't allow me to blend in as well, so I'm glad they just built me my own pit latrine. They're also going to build me my own area to bathe so that I can stop using my neighbor's. It's nothing fancy, but just a hard dirt floor surrounded by tall bundles of straw. I actually really enjoy bathing this way underneath the open sky. The other weekend I got back to the village late but couldn't stand all of the dirt caked on my skin, so I decided to brave it and take a bucket bath at night time. In the middle of it I looked up and the sky knocked the breath out of me. It looked as though the universe was working on an art project and spilled an entire bottle of glitter on black paper. I smiled because I know that was no accident. Just last night I was bathing as the sun set and watched the rays break through the colorful clouds as I shampooed my hair. While the occasional hot shower is desired (and trust me, I soak it up when the opportunity rises), I'm going to miss this special connection with nature when I go back home. 

2. Music. Babies here leave their mother's womb with a certain rhythm in their step. I picture the baby dancing as someone cuts the umbilical cord. That's not actually how it goes down...but I wouldn't doubt it if someone ever told me they saw it. Kids here start dancing before they can even walk. And it's probably due to the highly infectious rhythmic music they are exposed to. When namibians aren't listening to mainstream pop and hiphop from America they're listening to catchy tunes comprised of a repetitive bass drum on every beat, African singing, and a somewhat Latin American vibe. I hear it blaring from the mud hut bar across the way just about every other night. I even find myself dancing in my bed before I fall asleep. You simply cannot listen to their music and not move. 

3. Movies and television. This is one category that my brother would find difficult to accept. The movie and television department lacks a particular culture that the United States is proud to have. We focus more on symbolism, and the art of expression, whereas here, with the obsession of telenovelas (Spanish soap operas dubbed in cheesy English) and Nigerian movies, people watch film and shows solely to pass time. 

4. Let's eat...People in Namibia love to eat. And I enjoy the traditional food of maize meal (porridge or "pap") with meat and sometimes some sort of vegetable. You eat it with your hands. And you eat it every day for lunch and dinner. Or they eat rice...with large portions of ketchup and mayonnaise mixed in. Or bread with cheese and butter. As you can see, the diet lacks a certain amount of nutrition that I'm used to. I cooked brown rice with zucchini, garlic, onion, green bell peppers, and mushrooms the other night and wanted my 18 year old neighbor to try it...she said, "We can't eat this. There are too many vegetables." Oh, and dad, you would love the fish here. And they fry it whole, head and tail and all. It took me a minute to get over the fish eyes staring back at me and the song that goes "fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat em up, yum" plays in my head every time...but it's all good.

5. Simple life. I was hanging out with some of the little village kids the other day, and I realized something about this culture that I admire very much. They are incredibly resourceful and enjoy whatever they have, even if it's broken or as simple as it can get. For example, I watched this kid take a bottle cap, poke a hole in it, pick up a piece of thick straw, put it in the hole, and then spun the thing on the ground like a top. It functioned better than any store-bought top I ever played with as a kid. And then the other kids, all in completely tattered and torn clothing, were kicking a half deflated ball back and forth, and having the time of their lives. It's not that their parents can't afford to buy them new clothes...it's that what's the point in having perfectly presentable clothing when the kid is playing outside in the heat and the sand surely to ruin it? Of course when they go to town, they put on something with less holes. But I compared it to the culture in America...I can't count how many times I've heard kids yelled at by their parents because they tore a hole in their shirt while playing football in the front yard, or they have a grass stained knee from falling on their bike. Really, parents, what did you expect? 

6. Speaking of dirt...I've accepted the dirtiness that comes along with Africa, especially the village life. It doesn't matter how many times I bathe, how many times I sweep or wipe down my things...dirt and sand have permanently fused themselves with my home and my body. And as strange as this sounds, I don't mind one bit. I think we're obsessively clean in the United States...well, my mother would argue that I'm far from clean, but that's because even when I lived in the states I thought people were obsessively clean (especially her...love you, mom ;)...), and now that I live here, my belief is confirmed. When I cook a meal, bite into it, and crunch on a granule of sand, life goes on. When I pull a tomato or apple with a few blemishes out of my fridge, I still eat it because it's okay. In America, we spend five minutes digging through the pile of fruit at the store looking for perfection, and as soon as it begins to "go bad" we toss it. My standards for cleanliness has dropped, and I'm glad for that...because I'm okay. Oh, and the pungent smell of sweaty people has no negative effect on me anymore...in fact, I don't seem to mind it at all. It's not that people don't use deodorant...it's just that this african sun is hotter than hell. And because of pheromones flying around with the natural smell of people, there's nothing sexier than a young hard-working village guy fetching water from the borehole. When I get home, I don't see myself settling for the office type. Thanks, Africa. 

7. Speaking of "type" and "settling"...The culture of relationships, particularly male and female, is veeeeery different than that of the United States. It's a hopeless romantic culture (even though the relationships seem to contradict this mindset with a pattern of unfaithfulness) where the guy isn't afraid that the words they say may scare the girl away. If a guy meets you and is intrigued, he won't hesitate to say he loves you. Because I'm from America, I get a lot of propositions to marry someone and take them back home and have their babies. This subject usually comes up within five minutes of conversation. I try telling guys here that in America, men at least pretend to be a girl's friend first before making a dating proposition. So, if they want the keys to my heart, they're going to have to slow down because that ain't one thing about my culture I'm willing to give up. 

There are many things about Namibia I've had to adjust to, many things I'm still currently adjusting to, and many things I didn't need to adjust to just because they felt right to begin with, and hopefully I can bring those cultural things back with me to the states and teach people. 

Quite a few times in my new Namibian life I've found myself wishing (only for a minute or so) for something familiar in culture or people...wishing for my family and friends...but much more often than that, I find myself completely in awe of my new lifestyle and environment. As a kid, I would watch National Geographic Channel and see documentaries where people are traveling the world, and I used to envy them. I yearned for the opportunity to leave everything familiar behind to explore new territory and people. As a kid I never thought it would be possible. But here I am. And I wouldn't give it up for all the money in the world. Or I would take the bribe, and use that money to come right back, pick up where I left off, and then continue my traveling adventures ;) 

The things I listed above only scratch the surface of differences I've experienced so far. If I tried to write about everything I experience, I wouldn't have any time left to actually experience. So, with that being said, I'm out. 

Yea, not a moment of the day and night goes by where I'm not sweating. But it's a great excuse to not wear make-up. And I'm wearing my first African outfit that my teacher friend gave me :) ...oh one more thing before I forget! Namibians don't care if you have visible tattoos in the workplace, nor does the overall culture mind (you only get the occasional person who thinks you're in the Illuminati...that's something I'd rather not waste my time writing about). Most Namibians aren't too quick to judge someone by their appearance, even older generations, so I don't have to cover my sleeve even when I start teaching.... :P suck it, America. 

Okay, for real this time. Later. 

Road Trip and Final Destination

7 October, 2013

It feels like I just swore in as a Peace Corps volunteer yesterday, but it's already been almost 3 weeks (by the time you read this it'll be even later). 

Let me fill you in starting with the trip to Zambezi region.

This is Patrick's teaching counterpart, Prince. They stay in Muyako. He's a character. Any day spent with Prince is sure to be...how should I say....an adventure. Anyway, in this picture we're all packed and ready to embark on our two-day road trip to the land of elephants. Adios, Okahandja. 

Halfway through we stopped at this bungalow to stay the night in Rundu. The lodge area has an outside pool, bar and restaurant area. It's actually owned by a Peace Corps member from group 12.

Patrick and Robert are enjoying the cold water after a hot n sweaty 7 or so hour drive in the van. 

     

This is my principal, Mr. Mbanga. He has done everything he can to make sure I have everything I need, and I'm incredibly grateful to have him as my principal. 

Here's Lacy's principal in Ngonga. She's super nice.

Dad, I took these pictures for you to show you that Harley is definitely an African dog. Most of the dogs here look like his brothers and sisters. Oh, and this dog acted just like him....you know, with all of the jumping and back-talking and destruction of human property. 

He stole that towel off a clothesline. 

Here's the Zambezi river. Across the river is a little peak into Zambia.

                                   

Lacy's principal again. The culture here is different when it comes to photographing. People love having pictures of themselves, and they rarely smile in photos. Everything is always posed.

There's Lacy standing next to Justin's business counterpart. He's a very intelligent guy that works at the animal conservancy place in Kongola. 

After a long and interesting journey....I made it to my hut. I love love love my hut. It even has electricity. The dog in the doorway is a little obnoxious, but she hangs outside at night and I feel safe that way. 

My view out the front door. That's one of the buildings of the school (there are only 2 buildings). That concrete thing in the middle passed the bushes is where I get my water. 

View from the staff room/library/secretary office. We have to make good use of the space.

Dallaz and Beatrice....he teaches math and she teaches English and Silozi. I'm happy to have them as my colleagues and friends.

My new friend, Simasiku, or Elvis...whichever you want to call him. Everyone here has a traditional name, a Christian name, and also nicknames on top of that....yes, it's very hard to keep track of. 

Elvis, his brother, and his neighbor. Funny guys. 

African kids are my favorite. I know I've mentioned that before. Just sayin'.

So, anyway...that's what I've been up to. As far as the school goes, I've been observing the teachers and learners. I'm working on getting the school Internet, paid by the ministry of education. Once that happens then we can have easier access to resources online...oh and Ill be able to post blog entries more often. I've also started organizing the "library". We don't have very many books. That project will take quite some time. And along with that I'll have to come up with ways to get these kids excited about reading. The culture here tells stories by mouth and pretty much only reads the Bible, so that mom or dad bedtime book reading thing is unheard of.

Stay tuned for my next entry....it'll be Real-Talk Time. Which will be juicy. Later, taters.

Swearing-in and Last-night Livin'

22 September, 2013

Well, we finally did it. We are now officially Peace Corps volunteers as of September 19. The ceremony was short and sweet. Afterwards we said our goodbyes to those that had to leave right away. We had a cry-fest. And then the rest of us went out to celebrate. 

There's not much to say on this entry except for the fact that my life has drastically changed. 

A Promise Worth Keeping

Yesterday, it was July 29, 2013. Today, it's September 18, 2013. Don't ask me how that happened. It's all a blur smudged with PowerPoint sessions, desert sand, and African songs like Nhonholofatsa and Tula Pele. 

Tomorrow, we swear in as official Peace Corps Volunteers. I've been waiting for this since September of 2012. A year's worth of paperwork, vaccinations, blood tests, and patience. And then months of language, training and more preparation (I got intermediate mid on my language proficiency interview, by the way..woohoo!). We've sacrificed jobs, cars, homes, and relationships for this. And it's actually happening. I'm not going to lie...part of me always thought something would get in the way...that something would keep me from coming to Africa. But I think that was just part of me holding on to what's comfortable. 

There's absolutely nothing comfortable about any of this. And that's why I love it. 

Just as we start to get cozy in a new country and comfortable with new faces, we are being ripped out again by our roots, which are still mending their previous wounds inflicted by the claws of American soil. 

(Sorry. That was a little dramatic...)

Yesterday, I met my supervisor. The principal of Gunkwe Primary School. He has already began developing a father figure role to me. He's protective of me and excited to have a PCV for the first time. There comes a lot of responsibility for a volunteer going to a place that has yet to experience the Peace Corps. But I'm willing to take on the challenge. Out of 800 people it's safe to say I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. But I got this, yo.

Tomorrow, we hold a ceremony where we pledge our service to Peace Corps/Namibia. Some of us leave right after the ceremony, and others (myself included) head out bright n' early Friday morning. We   Zambezi folk have about a 12+ hour drive. After that we'll be in the "jungle" of Africa. My principal asked me if I liked big animals. I don't suppose I have a choice. 

I won't have access to Internet for a while...so I just want to fill the rest of this up with random Sara thought. 

1. I almost cried with excitement when I saw my first giraffe that wasn't behind zoo bars.

2. My host mom killed a bug tonight that she claims eats her hair while she sleeps. Whether that's true or not, the bug was terrifying.

3. I'm going to miss her and the rest of my host family tremendously.

4. I talked about my friends in the states for too long today. Come visit Africa, guys :) it'll change a lot of things in your life, I swear. Same goes for you, family. 

5. I'm so excited to move into my mud hut.

6. I'm nervous to leave Okahandja and the other trainees.

7. I think I should set a daily alarm for my don't-get-malaria meds....because I've been horrible at remembering to take it. I'm in a malaria-free zone right now in Namibia, but my site is definitely not.

8. I'm doing a thing with my iPod where I put all 8,538 songs on shuffle. My goal is to listen to every single song, no skipping allowed. I've had to start over a few times by now, but now I'm in it for good. I'm on #96. 

9. I need to go to bed. Good night, everyone.

We passed PST...like a boss. :)